sayonara

From Lost in Translation, set in Tokyo:

Bob (Bill Murray): Can you keep a secret? I’m trying to organize a prison break. I’m looking for, like, an accomplice. We have to first get out of this bar, then the hotel, then the city, and then the country. Are you in or you out?

Charlotte (Scarlet Johansson): I’m in. I’ll go pack my stuff.

Bob: I hope that you’ve had enough to drink. It’s going to take courage.

So how do you leave Japan?  For Katie it is just weird–her home, work, friends, and now family were here.  For me, which way do you go and how do you get there?  Australia is “close.”  Korea is like flying to Atlanta.  You need a visa to go to China, but maybe Hong Kong?  Europe?  Hawaii?  LAX to Orlando?

I felt ready and unlike some other places I’ve been to, cannot see myself returning.  I feel grateful to have been treated mostly so well, so respectfully, and allowed to learn about the Japanese culture and people.  It has shifted how I think of many things, including home, where I long to be.

Katie’s good friend and coworker said, “Japan fine-tunes you.”  I had thought about that a lot.  Her friend was now in Atlanta with her family but was so eager to remain in Japan she is planning to return in August.

I thought about all I’d learned since I was here and the many things left to learn here and elseswhere.  My brother and I often talk about what is “normal” to us and how greatly it can differ from other people’s “normal.”  Boy was that apparent here!

I’ve been reading a book by Neil Peart who says, “What cannot be changed, must be endured.”  And, “What cannot be endured, must be changed.”  I could have changed things, gone home early, gone somewhere else.  But I wanted to endure Japan, and I did.

As Katie noted, everything is harder here.  But maybe the difficulty is what distracts your brain from worrying about the many stressors we tend to focus on.

I have learned a lot from Katie-the-Wise and told her that her middle initial M wasn’t for Marie apparently, it was for Magellan, with her sense of discovery and ease of moving about.  She finally said yesterday she’s ready to stop for awhile…..well…..soon anyway!  At least she said she has finished moving around all the time, which she has done since she graduated high school–whatever is next should be for years.

She schooled me one day during our “next phase” planning.  We had bought our tickets off the island and I kept asking about each little step:  How will we do this?  Then how will we do that?  Katie said, “I don’t know.  Future Katie will worry about that.”  I looked at her, probably with my eyes crossed, sticking my tongue out.  She said pointedly, “You can’t think about all of it at once.  Future Katie keeps me from spiraling.”  And so it does.

I wondered why I didn’t feel at home here at all, despite my efforts.  After all, I had felt partly at home in Italy, France, Canada, and in different States, like Pennsylvania, Alabama, and Virginia.  I couldn’t see ever wanting to live in Japan, even after listing the many magnificent ideas I really wanted to see in the US:

• Karaoke (Japan style)
• Sento (Korean bath house)
• Spocha gaming place
• Next level service in the service industry
• Low violent crime rate
• Mass transit system
• Heated toilet seats
• Health care

Though I’d been here 3 months, the overload on my senses had not decreased much, if at all.  I meandered the other day in Shinsaibashi and the slamming of food scents made me feel weak.  The colors in their clothing here confuse me.  I was raised in the Midwest where you dress for the season, so color is important to me and something I pay attention to.  But the washed out lavenders, the dull yellow greens and beiges, and crazy hot pinks that look so nice on the women here, have me walking out of every store empty handed.  And the noise and lights……..oh man.  It was at once enthralling and awe inspiring, but it clutters my mind to think about.

Leaving felt complicated, especially for Katie.  We went to the prefecture office yesterday.  The prefectures are the areas that make up the city, like Conway or Thornton Park.  At those offices you do everything all at one place–residence stuff, driver’s licenses, tax issues, health insurance, etc.  We were both dreading that chore, but turned out they had a greeter on each floor.  The helpful man on floor 2 got the forms for Katie with a sample form in English and helped her get a number to wait.  They had comfy chairs and everything went smoothly in about half an hour.  Katie let them know she was leaving and confirmed she is all settled up.  They allowed her to keep her residence i.d. since it is good for 2 more years, but I don’t think she’ll be back.

Last night we had dinner at a Mexican restaurant with one of her good friends–it was even Taco Tuesday in Japan with 200 yen tacos of chicken, shrimp, beef, or…..mystery meat!  It was hard for them to say goodbye.  Her friend is from NYC and is trying to figure out what’s next, just like Katie.  We ran into other former coworkers there too, from Australia and Toronto….these kids!

Katie’s allergies have been driving her crazy.  She always suffers in March at home but had no problem here last year.  Now she had been sneezing for a month.  Exasperated, she said, “How can I have allergies in a city with no trees or grass!?”  I said maybe is wasn’t the trees after all, maybe she’s allergic to soy sauce haha.

Today it’s supposed to rain allllll day.  Again.  It made me think of what my mom always said about the uncomfortable last month of pregnancy, that it was nature’s way of getting you ready.

And today we will finalize sorting and packing to mail two more boxes to Orlando.  Even the first one which we mailed mid-April isn’t there yet, but that’s okay since Katie won’t be home for awhile anyway.  We’ve now mailed 8 boxes, nearly all of her belongings except a few bins in storage.  Turns out you can’t mail batteries through Surface Mail–so her camera and portable speaker had to be Airmailed, which cost more.  Oh well.

We also had to figure out how to get Katie’s money from her Japanese bank account over to the US, which turned out not to be that easy, especially 24 hours from leaving…….just saying.  For official documents like banking, the Japanese traditional calendar is used. Today is 30-5-23; the 30th year of the reigning emperor, May 23rd.

At the last minute we will throw out pillows, blankets, and sweaters too bulky and old to take with us or pay to mail home.  Katie even said she’s looking to nothing to do on a long flight except watching movies!

Kampai!  (Cheers!)