Terror

Ok maybe terror is a big word, but not really.

When I tell some people my plan they are really excited for me.  Others think I’m crazy!  Now that it is getting so close, I waiver from full blown excitement to sheer terror, sometimes hour by hour!

Here are the things I am afraid of:

1. Fear.  Yep, I am afraid of fear.  I am afraid that I will be so afraid that I won’t try this.  I’m not even sure that’s a real sentence, but hopefully you get it.  Of course I am afraid of all the standard news hour stuff.  Terrorism, accidents, natural disasters.  But really I’m afraid of those here at home anyway, so I am removing them from my list of worries.   Ok so what if I get lost or sick or my AirBnb gets canceled.  My experience traveling is that most people are willing to help.  So, I’ve “decided” not to be afraid.  I’m gonna do this and if I hate it I will come home.  Since I have no home, see below haha!
2. Money.  A deal breaker.  If I can’t afford it, I can’t do it. I have a budget in mind and hope it will work.  I’ve never been good with money–I don’t know how to balance a checkbook and don’t keep receipts.  So, fingers crossed haha again!  I am hoping to travel for 2 years.  If the budget doesn’t work, then 6 months.
3. Homesickness/loneliness.  It helps that my adventure will start in Japan with my daughter.  Plus now my son and his girlfriend will be visiting too!  I hope others will join me and I will join others, but I have decided to do this whether I am alone or not.  I am an introvert and enjoy being alone, but alone-on-the-other-side-of-the-world may be a different story.  My friend suggested that I “practice,” so I have, even sitting at a sports bar a couple weeks ago watching the Cubs.  I’ll be fine.

No home.  So here’s how my planning usually goes.  I go on AirBnb or Lonely Planet or TripAdvisor to learn about a location or train system or whatever.  I research it until I have a stomach ache.  Then I look for a “soft landing.”  For instance, if the experiment fails quickly then I will go to Michigan, where I still have family and friends.  If it fails months later (i.e., winter), I’ll go to Alabama or New York where I have family also. I kinda need an Orlando break, so hopefully no one will need to have me on an air mattress in their living room, although a few people have offered 🙂  Maybe my kids will be settled somewhere and I’ll go where they are (Katie just started talking about moving to London next!).  Then I’ll go on Indeed.com and find a job in one of those areas.  Yeah.  Ok.  It’s a plan!

Photo:   Katie at Teotihuacan pyramids near Mexico City, December 2016.  TERRIFYING because I did not know you had to walk entirely around the edge of the pyramid two-thirds up with no guardrail and hundreds of other people!